Pretty flat

That pretty much sums up what I thought of Memoirs Of A Geisha, the movie.

First up, the pretty part. Few Hollywoodisations of Oriental material can pass up the chance to go into artistic overdrive and Memoirs is no exception. Costumes, props and sets were obligingly lush and very gorgeous lit, from the sleazy doorways of the pleasure district (hanamachi) with their sensual carnal promise, to the geishas' exquisite kimonos and accessories. In a nutshell, cinematography was simply breathtaking.

And yet, the movie fell somewhat flat. Yes, the screenplay was faithful enough to the novel, and it retained enough of the essentials to make a rather tight and sensible plot, unlike Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. And although some interesting details were missing (like how apprentice geishas wore more elaborate get-ups than their 'older sisters' and how a virgin geisha arranges her hair differently from one who's already had her mizuage), there was sufficient illustration of the rituals in the life of a geisha to make it anthropologically noteworthy. The movie fell flat, not in the Chronicles of Narnia's it's-entertaining-but-mediocre-and-there-was-absolutely-no-climax sense, but primarily because I felt there was no spark to give it added life and mark it as a stand-alone entity from the novel. Perhaps this is because I have read the novel; the boyfriend had not read the book and he found the movie absolutely wonderful.

Zhang Ziyi's competent enough as Sayuri, although her English was simply too painful to stomach at times. Anyone remembers "Sorry, twaffic was a keeller." and "Ze zoup izz zoo zalty."? Anyway, I felt that Suzuga Ohgo's Chiyo far outshone her. The little girl was really pretty, spunky and yet fragile all at once. Michelle Yeoh, complete with BBC-accented English (Sylvia Toh is so right about this!), was just right as the charmingly benevolent Mameha, the other reigning geisha alongside Gong Li's Hatsumomo. And of course, the latter simply stole the show as the radiantly evil Hatsumomo, the queen bitch from hell in the Nitta okiya. She terrorises the young Chiyo out of fear that the latter, with her unusual grey eyes and promising looks, will one day usurp her position as prime geisha. At the same time, you can't help feeling sorry for someone of Hatsumomo's passions for being trapped in the conundrum that is a geisha's life: That as much as they emphasise they are not common prostitutes, they are still not free to love as they like and must do whatever is in the best interests of their okiya, unless they are as fortunate as Mameha to be a free agent. And even Yeoh's free agent is bound by the whims and orders of her Baron danna.

One thing that bothered me about the book PLUS the movie: The bond between the Chairman and young Chiyo that blossoms into a relationship by the end. I mean, the guy (Ken Watanabe, who I found more swoonsome in The Last Samurai) had kids and was practically in his thirties at least when he first met the then nine-or-ten-year-old Chiyo on the bridge. I'm all for big age-gaps but 30++ and 9 is taking things abit too far. Am I the only one to be somewhat disturbed by the vague overtones of paedophilia and the Electra Complex here? It gets even worse when the Chairman asked Chiyo, "Cherry blossom or plum for you?", referring actually to ice cones; I think I'm taking sexual semiotics too far.

But anyway, the movie's really quite worth a watch. I always like to see how movie adaptations of books turn out, and this is really not a bad one. I'd rate it 3.5 stars out of five. I wish there were more scenes with Gong Li though, she's really gorgeous.

Gong Li as the sexily disheveled Hatsumomo, my new screen goddess

Suzuga Ohgo as little Chiyo.


Zhang Ziyi's Sayuri in a breathtaking solo dance piece. An artfully savage sequence that came through for its "profound emotions"


Sayuri and the Chairman chatting among the picture-perfect cherry blossoms at the Baron's estate; sorry you can't see much of the cherry blossoms here